I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
