I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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