Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
