dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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