Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
