So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
