JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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