RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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