This dress was meant to end up on your floor
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
