We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Will exercising make me less horny?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
