oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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