Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
