I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
