I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
