I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
