she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
