i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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