I cannot find my penis.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize