I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
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