stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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