Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
