i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
