Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
