I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
