HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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