office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
