It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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