I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
