Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm experimenting with sincerity
we're so committed to being not committed
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
