im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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