We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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