The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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