Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
