i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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