I cockslap morals
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
