not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Dignity is for republicans.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just pee around me
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
