Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
