tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
