If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
