on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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