Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
A bitchslap is in order.
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