Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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