: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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