omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
