Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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