sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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