um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
