First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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