There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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