I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
