Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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