Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
