one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
