So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We had sex on a dog bed..
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
