dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
you made out with another girl for some wings
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize