out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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