Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
