When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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