Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize