I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
