if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
