Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She's the barista slut.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
