I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
