life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
