I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
