Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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