I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize