please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i wish my penis had a tongue
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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