yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
