I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
