wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize