You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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