): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
