Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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