tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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