Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
