Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
