Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
